Low Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem Counselling in Charlesworth
Many people assume that low self-esteem and low self-confidence are the same condition. This is a commonly mistaken belief, probably due to the similar symptoms they both outwardly display.
Admittedly, there are clear similarities but confidence and esteem issues are not always linked. I prefer to view them as separate entities with different causes and triggers and during counselling I approach them as such, unless I discover differently during our sessions.
I offer targeted counselling sessions for people looking to explore feelings of low-confidence and/or self-esteem in Charlesworth.
When to consider counselling
If you are experiencing any of the following and feel that they are negatively affecting your day to day life then counselling should be a consideration:
- Regularly questioning your own capabilities, doubting or worrying.
- Social withdrawal.
- Lack of social skills and self confidence
- Focusing on the negative, negative self talk, pessimism.
- Self neglect and worrying whether you have treated others badly.
- Inability to accept compliments.
- Frequently apologising.
- Avoiding risks.
- Constantly seeking approval from others.
If you feel you may have low self esteem or self confidence, one-to-one counselling will enable you to overcome these negative thoughts and help you to feel more self assured, resilient and generally stronger.
How does counselling work?
Together we will build a strategy for overcoming your low self-esteem or low self-confidence. You will discover how to recognise and correct your negative, self defeating thought patterns and replace them with more positive feelings of self-worth and acceptance. This comes by adopting a more rational and optimistic mindset.
- We discuss and identify what negative feelings you are experiencing and the behaviours that you display as a result.
- We examine the causes and triggers of these feelings from both your past and present.
- Once we reach this point we focus on moving forward; figuring out a manageable strategy that frees you of any harmful or destructive feelings and allows you to proceed with a more positive frame of mind.
What is low self confidence?
Low self-confidence is usually experienced by people who depend excessively on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves.
They may avoid taking risks because they fear failure and generally do not expect to be successful. Often they put themselves down and tend to discount or ignore compliments paid to them.
The development of self-confidence or lack of it is often traced back to our younger years. Parents’ attitudes are crucial to children’s feelings about themselves in their formative stages. If one or both parents are excessively critical or demanding or if they are overprotective and discourage moves toward independence, children may come to believe they are incapable, inadequate, or inferior.
A sudden loss of confidence can also occur following a traumatic event or negative experience. This can result in a lack of trust in others or ourselves. Some people even end up behaving recklessly or, at the other end of the scale, struggling with excessive shyness
It’s important to remember that your low self-esteem and lack of confidence can be a mindset and not a fact. Many people find that they can successfully overcome both of these with the right support.
What is low self esteem?
Low self-esteem is the feeling that we are not good enough and that we are worthless. These self critical feelings can lead to other issues such as depression, anxiety, sexual issues, relationship problems and difficulties at work.
Many people’s lack of self-esteem originates from childhood. Not being seen or heard, feeling unloved, or being criticised by authority figures such as parents, teachers or our peers can lead to lasting feelings of unworthiness and difficulties with being confident.
Issues of low self-esteem can also occur after a traumatic event, for example an accident or a huge change in life circumstances, such as redundancy, divorce or bereavement.
Developing better levels of self-esteem means building a healthier picture of how you view yourself and look after yourself. This usually takes practice and patience, but it is possible and can have enormous benefits in all areas of your life.